Creep Tumor

Don’t trust the Italian dude with the BMW

So a few days ago, a maid was telling me about how you can’t trust people based on how they look. This was related to not giving rooms to crackheads but the point still stands.

She told me about a guy a few months ago that was Italian, had a BMW 5 series, and came dressed in a seemingly expensive suit. We gave him a nice room hoping for repeat business.

Like normal, some girl showed up a few minutes later and went into the room.

He checked out and everything was running smoothly. Then the maids went into the room to clean it. They came back and were telling her about how terrible it was and they wanted to refuse to clean it.

She went upstairs to the room and looked for herself. It couldn’t be that bad… It was.

There was shit smeared all the place. The smell was repulsive and she didn’t even want to enter. There was shit on the desks and all over the bathroom. The bedding had to be destroyed.

She couldn’t understand why anyone would do that and I don’t blame her.

They cleaned it but the the smell lingered. That room was then renovated a few weeks later.

That guy is on the banned list now.

Maserati

So I was just redditing on my computer when I notice a Maserati Quattroporte park in the parking lot. That car probably cost over $100,000 and he drives it in the Bronx. Why hasn’t it been stolen yet? And why would he come to a shady motel like this.

I saw him walk out. Holy shit. He was a big guy, built, ripped, everything. Then it hit me.

Drug dealer.

I couldn’t be sure but there could be no other way around here. He walks into the lobby and seemed pretty chill. Cool guy, no hassles, just business. Just the way I liked it.

A few minutes later, he was joined by quite a busty woman.

Electric Chair Guy

So a seemingly old man, who I later find out was in his 40s, walks in to the lobby, asks for a room for the night. Yet again the motel was nearly full, and I was forced to give him 109, the best room. A few hours later, my manager walks in and reprimands me for giving someone 109 for the night. He sees the guy walk by and asks him if he would like to move upstairs. He agrees.

A few minutes later, I get a call from him, complaining the room smelled like smoke. I moved him to another room. Now I had to check the room, making sure nothing was dirty or I’d have to get a maid to clean the room and I’d be short one more. It was dirty.

A few hours later, he complains about the TV not working and I was getting annoyed. I go up there and verify that it wasn’t. I moved him to another room. The same room that he was complaining about before. Apparently, it was fine now.

A few minutes later, I get a call from him. He was complaining that he was getting electrocuted by the chair and floor. The wooden chair. The carpet. Really? Whatever, I sent my manager up there along with the maintenance guy. They returned after a few minutes saying it is nothing. The maintenance dude looks at me and says, “that dude is crazy.” Wonderful.

I go to the vending machine and he corners me. He starts talking about how he can feel electrical currents, like from the vending machine, and assures me he’s not crazy. Right. Of course.

This takes like ten minutes. A few hours later, he finds me at the front desk and starts talking to me about his life story. I was getting tired of this. I told him I had other things to do. He left. Finally.

The next morning, his mom comes in and pays for him to stay for another night. Seriously?

The next morning, on my shift, my manager was with me and I notice on the security cameras that a naked man was running down the hall on the second floor. My manager ran upstairs and forced him into his room. His name is now on the banned list.

He was supposed to check out at 11:30am. He kept telling us he was leaving and eventually we were going to call the cops. Then two people showed up asking to see him. We told him they were here and he told us to let them up. On the security cameras we noticed some arguing.

My manager stopped them as the two were leaving and asked them who they were and how to get him to leave. We were under the impression they were from the government but they wouldn’t confirm it or if they were family or not. We asked them to somehow get him to leave or we had to call the cops. They agreed.

After some more arguments, he finally left with them.

About time…

What’s the porn channel?

A customer comes into the lobby scantily dressed, as usual. She was by herself and her appearence can be described as… fat.  She asked for a room with the mirrors above the bed. I guess thats a turn on for her, watching herself. I didn’t have any of those rooms at the time. I gave her a random room and she left.

She came back a few minutes later asking for a remote for the TV, but there was a deposit for it. Apparently she didn’t have any money. What kind of person spends all their money on a motel room? Whatever, it was the ghetto Bronx. She doesn’t get a remote.

After going back up, she gave me a call. She wanted to know what the porn channel was. I, being new, didn’t know either so I asked a maid. It was 66. I told her. She told me the TV only went up to channel 30. I told her I’d send someone up.

I did NOT want to go up there, so I sent a guy to the room. He came back saying the TV had to be programmed but he wanted to get out of there ASAP. His exact words were, “The TV needs to be programmed but man, shes…” and proceeded to slow jerk. 

A man came 15 minutes later, probably to bone her.