Creep Tumor

Taken with instagram

Fri, 06 Apr 2012 11:43:47 -0400

Taken with instagram

Fri, 06 Apr 2012 07:56:14 -0400

Taken with instagram

Fri, 06 Apr 2012 07:42:55 -0400

Taken with instagram

No more posts? :(

Mon, 12 Sep 2011 01:55:14 -0400

Stopped working there.

New record for shortest stay!

Wed, 08 Jun 2011 12:42:00 -0400

They stayed for 37 minutes!

The other way around: Guy pays for his mom.

Tue, 07 Jun 2011 12:35:05 -0400

So a young guy comes in with some old lady and asks for a room. Ew.

Turns out he’s paying for his mom. Double ew.

Whatever, money is money, I’m not in a position to deny him that. Then he starts raging at his mom for paying in cash and he wants to use her credit card instead. An interesting relationship they have there.

After they both go up, he comes back down and my manager shows up after seeing that on the cameras. He starts explaining that his mother’s apartment has bedbugs and has to stay here tonight. The manager was not pleased.

He assured us that his mother did not bring any bedbugs with her and the manager didn’t believe it.

So basically, the guy’s mother brought bedbugs to the motel. Wonderful. We’re going to have to check that room after they leave.

Apparently we’ll end up losing money on that one if there are bedbugs.

Moral of the story: Watch out when a guy pays for his mom.

The time a car caught fire in the parking lot

Sun, 05 Jun 2011 22:57:00 -0400

Late one fine evening, a customer came into the lobby and requested a room. That’s fine. She left her car running however, and for a reason I am not privy to, it caught fire. You could see the fire starting inside and suddenly the whole thing was ablaze.

The front desk clerk called 911 and reported it and the manager was trying to put it out with a fire extinguisher. Annoyingly, every time the fire went out, it would just come back.

Eventually a fire truck pulled in and tried dousing it in water and that wasn’t really effective either. The cops showed up and so did an ambulance. Then for some reason a news van showed up and they started interviewing people. I was around the area at the time and was watching the whole thing.

The owner was not very happy.

It took nearly 30 minutes to stop the fire and everyone was safe.

Guess who had to get all the security footage for the whole thing from every angle and put it on a DVD for the cops.

Yeah, me.

hey…my friend scd runs a pretty sweet tumblr too, you should read it. http://scd250.tumblr.com

Sun, 05 Jun 2011 22:51:21 -0400

hey…my friend scd runs a pretty sweet tumblr too, you should read it.

http://scd250.tumblr.com

The Jay-Z story

Sun, 05 Jun 2011 14:58:08 -0400

This is a short one.

I’m the only one apparently who can get the networked DVR to output video to give to the cops for an incident. I was going through the security footage and around midnight I noticed a man walking along with a bunch of cameras behind him.

It was Jay-Z. Why would Jay-Z come to this motel? And cameras following him? Did no one notice but me? What did the front desk clerk think when she was there?

The video is lost forever, I couldn’t save it with the manager watching. Not supposed to do that sort of thing.

write more! awesome

Sun, 05 Jun 2011 14:44:38 -0400

Haha will do when I get back to work tomorrow :)

You poor bastard! I worked at hotels for a long time and I should have written a book about the weird shit I saw. How long have you been working for hotels and how long do you plan on staying?

Sun, 05 Jun 2011 14:15:20 -0400

I’ve only been working for about a month now and I always told my friends about the weird shit i saw and they kept telling me to blog about it. I’m only working for another month and then I go back to school. If you have any stories, I’d love to post them up or maybe you should start a tumblr ;)

The Gangbang Story

Sun, 05 Jun 2011 04:48:24 -0400

Around noon one day, I see 4 guys and 1 girl in the parking lot coming down. Halfway to the lobby, the girl, who looked very below 18, returned to the car. The 4 guys enter and ask for a room. I ask them all for ID and notify them that everyone that enters the room must be over 21. The dude who gave me his ID, which I assumed was fake, said he was 24. He looked barely 20.

I ask him if that girl was over 21 as well and he said she wasn’t going to come in. I seriously doubted that. They start arguing with me and used fancy ebonics. I had no idea what they were talking about.

I told them that we were full and they started playing the race card on me. Wonderful. I didn’t feel like the manager getting on my case about letting these guys in the motel.

After a while, I told them that we were full and they should try another motel. I even gave them the card of a different motel and directions to get there. They were still arguing with me and I just told them that they can leave or I call the cops. They told me they were going to talk about this and come back later.

I copied the ID of the guy that gave his to me and put it on the banned list.

They never came back.

This happens at least twice a day.

Sun, 05 Jun 2011 04:29:10 -0400

Guy walks in, gets a room for a few hours. Five minutes later, a girl shows up and she goes into the room. Ten minutes later, he asks me if I have any condoms.

“They’re in the vending machine.”

He then proceeds to get them, and goes back to his room.

*Note: Selling condoms in this motel is quite lucrative.

Don't trust the Italian dude with the BMW

Fri, 03 Jun 2011 13:08:09 -0400

So a few days ago, a maid was telling me about how you can’t trust people based on how they look. This was related to not giving rooms to crackheads but the point still stands.

She told me about a guy a few months ago that was Italian, had a BMW 5 series, and came dressed in a seemingly expensive suit. We gave him a nice room hoping for repeat business.

Like normal, some girl showed up a few minutes later and went into the room.

He checked out and everything was running smoothly. Then the maids went into the room to clean it. They came back and were telling her about how terrible it was and they wanted to refuse to clean it.

She went upstairs to the room and looked for herself. It couldn’t be that bad… It was.

There was shit smeared all the place. The smell was repulsive and she didn’t even want to enter. There was shit on the desks and all over the bathroom. The bedding had to be destroyed.

She couldn’t understand why anyone would do that and I don’t blame her.

They cleaned it but the the smell lingered. That room was then renovated a few weeks later.

That guy is on the banned list now.

Maserati

Fri, 03 Jun 2011 11:29:00 -0400

So I was just redditing on my computer when I notice a Maserati Quattroporte park in the parking lot. That car probably cost over $100,000 and he drives it in the Bronx. Why hasn’t it been stolen yet? And why would he come to a shady motel like this.

I saw him walk out. Holy shit. He was a big guy, built, ripped, everything. Then it hit me.

Drug dealer.

I couldn’t be sure but there could be no other way around here. He walks into the lobby and seemed pretty chill. Cool guy, no hassles, just business. Just the way I liked it.

A few minutes later, he was joined by quite a busty woman.

Electric Chair Guy

Fri, 03 Jun 2011 01:23:00 -0400

So a seemingly old man, who I later find out was in his 40s, walks in to the lobby, asks for a room for the night. Yet again the motel was nearly full, and I was forced to give him 109, the best room. A few hours later, my manager walks in and reprimands me for giving someone 109 for the night. He sees the guy walk by and asks him if he would like to move upstairs. He agrees.

A few minutes later, I get a call from him, complaining the room smelled like smoke. I moved him to another room. Now I had to check the room, making sure nothing was dirty or I’d have to get a maid to clean the room and I’d be short one more. It was dirty.

A few hours later, he complains about the TV not working and I was getting annoyed. I go up there and verify that it wasn’t. I moved him to another room. The same room that he was complaining about before. Apparently, it was fine now.

A few minutes later, I get a call from him. He was complaining that he was getting electrocuted by the chair and floor. The wooden chair. The carpet. Really? Whatever, I sent my manager up there along with the maintenance guy. They returned after a few minutes saying it is nothing. The maintenance dude looks at me and says, “that dude is crazy.” Wonderful.

I go to the vending machine and he corners me. He starts talking about how he can feel electrical currents, like from the vending machine, and assures me he’s not crazy. Right. Of course.

This takes like ten minutes. A few hours later, he finds me at the front desk and starts talking to me about his life story. I was getting tired of this. I told him I had other things to do. He left. Finally.

The next morning, his mom comes in and pays for him to stay for another night. Seriously?

The next morning, on my shift, my manager was with me and I notice on the security cameras that a naked man was running down the hall on the second floor. My manager ran upstairs and forced him into his room. His name is now on the banned list.

He was supposed to check out at 11:30am. He kept telling us he was leaving and eventually we were going to call the cops. Then two people showed up asking to see him. We told him they were here and he told us to let them up. On the security cameras we noticed some arguing.

My manager stopped them as the two were leaving and asked them who they were and how to get him to leave. We were under the impression they were from the government but they wouldn’t confirm it or if they were family or not. We asked them to somehow get him to leave or we had to call the cops. They agreed.

After some more arguments, he finally left with them.

About time…

What's the porn channel?

Fri, 03 Jun 2011 00:36:00 -0400

A customer comes into the lobby scantily dressed, as usual. She was by herself and her appearence can be described as… fat. She asked for a room with the mirrors above the bed. I guess thats a turn on for her, watching herself. I didn’t have any of those rooms at the time. I gave her a random room and she left.

She came back a few minutes later asking for a remote for the TV, but there was a deposit for it. Apparently she didn’t have any money. What kind of person spends all their money on a motel room? Whatever, it was the ghetto Bronx. She doesn’t get a remote.

After going back up, she gave me a call. She wanted to know what the porn channel was. I, being new, didn’t know either so I asked a maid. It was 66. I told her. She told me the TV only went up to channel 30. I told her I’d send someone up.

I did NOT want to go up there, so I sent a guy to the room. He came back saying the TV had to be programmed but he wanted to get out of there ASAP. His exact words were, “The TV needs to be programmed but man, shes…” and proceeded to slow jerk.

A man came 15 minutes later, probably to bone her.